In third
grade I was asked to write a letter to my future self where I would be listing
goals I would hope I had accomplished by then, where I hoped to be at school,
and the type of person I hoped I had become.
After being mailed home the letter three days before I graduated, I’m
happy to say I did accomplish all of those things but the career path I had
established for myself as merely a third grader was quite lofty and out of
reach for my current self.
We are
taught in classes, in our homes, and even in the media to set goals and do
things only for the extrinsic value and we are in turn reinforcing the same
meritocratic philosophy which Menand talked about in his first theory of
education. Now by no means am I saying
it’s wrong to set goals and to push yourself to achieve but the way we create
these timelines in our heads is unsettling.
I’ve always
held myself to a higher standard thinking that I was trying so hard in school
and staying up all night too many nights of the week because I wanted to know I
did my best- and I know in part that’s true, but I also recognize how much I am
a product of my environment.
College has
never been just an “option” for me.
College was simply the only option.
It was considered the next step and it would’ve caused an uproar if I
had thought any differently about it. I
know that part of my reasoning for working was because I felt the societal
pressure to do well and attend a prestigious college. And at first, I thought it ended at
that. Once I got to college I would then
be free of pressure.
Little did
I recognize that this societal pressure will always be internally engraved in
me. It does not just apply to schooling
but to everything in my life. For
example, I’ve heard many young women talk about how they want to be married by
a certain age and have their children a certain number of years apart. I also had it engrained into my head as a
child that I need to have a job that “makes a lot of money” said my grandpa so
that I will be able to support myself before I consider getting married.
(She must’ve talked to my grandpa.)
The
striking take on the definition of being “successful” being defined by
materialism and monetary values is extremely detrimental to the way society
functions. It has taken away intrinsic
motivation and increases unhealthy competition amongst the population.
Professor
LaVaque-Manty said in our lecture on Monday November 19th something
about how our emphasis on creating a “life path” is in turn making us think
about our death. I almost feel as though
I need to schedule my death in a timely fashion so that I will be able to accomplish
everything I have planned and die settled.
Sadly, that’s not an option just yet but I’m sure if it was our society
would be using it to its fullest.
Blair,
ReplyDeleteI can totally understand how you are feeling. It does seem that often times we just do what we are supposed to do simply due to the fact that it is what's expected from us. When I think about my motivation to go to college it does deeply stem from the fact that society tells me if I want to be happy I need to become educated. I think that the sooner we develop an appreciation for the opportunities and experiences we are able to experience in college the faster we can utilize their benefits.
I'd be curious to hear more about your thoughts on how these cookie cutter life choices have effected society. I know you talk about how they have taken away from intrinsic motivation and increased unhealthy competition, but how?
I definitely understand where you are coming from as far as your life being planned out for you. College was never really a choice for me either and my only real choice was which university I wanted to attend. I have thought about what I would do if such a pressure was not put onto me by my family, but I am very grateful now that this was not the case. As a junior in college I am starting to realize how my life will soon be completely up to me. Even if I still have the expectation to succeed, it is my choice how i will do so and as I get older I am starting to realize that these pressures from others are starting to affect me less as I am choosing which pressures to put upon myself and what truly matters. On the one hand, it is all very exciting, and on the other it's pretty scary. I don't think planning my future is killing me, I think it keeps me alive and gives me purpose.
ReplyDeleteI really relate to this post. I think almost every girl has said at some point in her life has said the words "I want to be married by the time I'm [insert age here]," myself included. I think its natural to want to have a plan for the future, because to be honest, the unknown is terrifying. I take a lot of comfort when things I planned for my life, such as getting into U of M, or getting the job I wanted. I think it is interesting what you said about people wanting to time their own deaths. How differently would we live if we were given the age at which we would die from birth? How differently would people live their lives? There are certain things that are expected of in society to do at certain ages like college,marriage, kids, ect. But if I knew I only had 2 months, or even only 20 years left, I don't think I would spend it doing things just because they were expected of me. Overall, this post really got me thinking.
ReplyDelete